Yes, this is my last installment of this book. It’s been a hoot! And while the authors did create a sequel, I’ve decided not to snark that volume. There’s only so much my blood pressure can take! So thank you for reading and snarking along with me.
Rule #31: Don’t Discuss The Rules with Your Therapist
Some therapists will think that The Rules are dishonest and manipulative.
Another reason not to discuss this book with your therapist is that you don’t want to debate the merits of doing or not doing The Rules, otherwise you might lose your resolve to do them.
Yep. Don’t think critically or debate. Just do. Be our little romance robot.
You should also not read any books that go counter to this philosophy or preach another method, particularly books that encourage women to pursue men or express their inner child.
On a scale of one to Waco, just how cultlike is this book starting to sound?
Well, one good thing about the twenty-first century is that nobody really talks about expressing their inner child anymore.
Rule #32: Don’t Break The Rules
…I break this rule a lot! Like, every moment that I’m awake.
Seriously, this is a rule? I believe the point of making rules is that there is an implication that they should not be broken. Why does this need to be stated? Is it possible they were running out of ideas and the publishers needed to pad the book to make it more sellable?
(Yes, he can call you five times a day, but you can’t or he’ll think you’re crazy!)
Rule #33: Do The Rules and You’ll Live Happily Ever After!
…Again, hasn’t that been what they’ve been preaching all along? Oh, filler. You make yourself so obvious sometimes.
This chapter lists the various payoffs of following this dating method. Such gems include:
He gets angry when you don’t pay attention to him. He wants your constant attention and companionship.
Yep. Sounds totally rational and healthy to me!! I totally want to date someone who gets pissed if he’s not the center of my universe.
He gets involved in every aspect of your life.
So. Have your own interests, so that he can get involved with all of them. Again, sounds totally rational and healthy. I know I love it when men get involved in everything ever and I never have anything of my own!
He listens when you talk to him.
Oh, I’m sorry, I though that was called “being a decent human being.”
No physical abuse. When you do The Rules, he treats you like a fragile, delicate flower. He cups your face, rubs your back when you’ve had a hard day, and strokes your hair as if it were silk. You don’t have to worry about being battered.
Abuse is a serious issue, and it is complex, caused by a variety of factors. It is not deterred because you’re coy and hold off on sex. Anyone who thinks that is a terrible person. Seriously. To say that doing The Rules means you won’t be abused is effectively victim-blaming… because it’s your fault for not following them! And that is disgusting.
Rule #34: Love Only Those Who Love You
The crux of this chapter?
Love should be easy?
Which… to a certain degree, yes. But the fact is that times get tough. Really tough. And this chapter totally glosses over that. This book totally glosses over that. In an ideal world, love is easy. But in the real world, it can be tough. It can be work.
And the fact is, had I cut and run every time things got difficult, I would have missed out on some great stuff later.
Rule #35: Be Easy to Live With
The Rule is that as hard as you worked to play hard to get is how hard you must work to be easygoing!
That sentence barely even makes sense.
Basically: don’t be a nag, don’t be needy. Put tons of energy into stifling your feelings to make him happy.
True, it takes a lot more work to be a Rules wife than an ordinary one, but it’s so much more rewarding in the long run, don’t you agree?
For example, when he watches the ballgame on TV all afternoon instead of helping you clean the house, don’t zap off the tube in a moment of anger. Nicely tell him you need his help. If he still insists on watching the game, leave him alone. Tell yourself, “No big deal.” This kind of thing is not that important. To lose your cool every time you don’t get your way gets you nowhere.